What to Know About Perfectionism and Its Impact
Perfectionism is often misunderstood. While striving for excellence is an admirable trait, perfectionism goes beyond it, which leads to harmful thought patterns and behaviors. Understanding perfectionism’s effects on mental health is crucial for managing its impact and developing a healthier mindset.
What Is Perfectionism?
Perfectionism can look different for many people, but it’s essentially the pursuit of flawlessness and striving for standards that are impossible to achieve. Perfectionists often tie these standards to a sense of self-worth. This creates a cycle of striving and dissatisfaction, since they’re constantly falling short. A person might develop perfectionism if they:
Grew up in a household where criticism and high achievement were present
Live in a society that prizes achievement and external validation
Have a conscientious personality focused on details
Have a history of anxiety
Signs of Perfectionism
Needing rigid structure and organization
A fear of failure
Difficulty completing tasks
A harsh, judgmental inner voice
Low sense of self worth
Defensiveness
Irritability and anger issues
The Impact of Perfectionism on Mental Health
Even though we tend to reward perfectionism, it can harm your mental health over time. Some of its effects include:
Anxiety and Stress
Perfectionists often feel immense pressure to perform flawlessly, which can lead to chronic stress and heightened anxiety. Even minor mistakes can feel catastrophic, typically triggering a cycle of worry and doubt.
Depression
The constant dissatisfaction that accompanies perfectionism can contribute to feelings of inadequacy and hopelessness. Over time, this can lead to depression, especially when perfectionists repeatedly feel like they fall short of their own (and other people’s) expectations.
Procrastination
Ironically, perfectionists tend to delay tasks out of fear of not being able to meet their own high standards. This procrastination makes a person feel stressed, guilty, and unproductive, which just makes their mental health worse.
Burnout
The relentless pursuit of perfection can result in physical and emotional exhaustion. Burnout is particularly common among perfectionists in environments that require high levels of achievement, like academia or accomplished careers.
Strained Relationships
Perfectionists often impose their high standards on other people, which can make their relationships more difficult. Also, their fear of criticism might make them tend to avoid real vulnerability and emotional intimacy.
Inability to Be Present
Perfectionists have a hard time enjoying the present moment, since they’re often worried about an upcoming task or thinking about people potentially criticizing them. Over time, they might struggle to even have fun with friends and family.
How to Challenge Perfectionism
If you recognize perfectionistic tendencies in yourself, try to shift towards a mindset that takes better care of your mental health:
Be Kind to Yourself
Perfectionists are often their own harshest critics. Learning to treat yourself with kindness and understanding can make you feel less pressured to perform. Remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes, and that imperfection is an important part of being human.
Set Manageable Goals
Instead of aiming for perfection, focus on setting simpler, more realistic goals. Break larger tasks into manageable steps so you feel less overwhelmed (and less inclined to procrastinate).
Interrupt Perfectionistic Thoughts
Pay attention to your inner dialogue and challenge your thought processes. For example, replace “I have to get this exactly right or I’m a failure” with “Doing my best is enough.” Try to quiet your inner critic by simply observing your thoughts and letting them pass through you. Eventually, you should talk to yourself the same way you would to a friend.
Embrace Your Mistakes
Shift your perspective on mistakes. They’re not failures. In reality, they’re opportunities to learn and grow into a better person. Taking a longer view, it’s experiences and embracing the little things that make life worthwhile. Shift your mind away from only perfecting bigger achievements.
Getting Help
If perfectionism is causing you to struggle with your mental health, therapy can help. Schedule a consultation with me today. Together, we can come up with a therapy treatment plan that helps you identify your perfectionism’s underlying cause, challenge your distorted beliefs, and develop healthier coping strategies.